Single Life

As a divorced woman in her late 30s, comedian Monica Piper has more than a passing acquaintance with the dating scene. "Here's probably the biggest difference of all between men and women," she says in her act. "Guys, when you're going out with someone and if you're wondering if you'll get lucky . . . we already know." The petite Piper, who is appearing at the Laff Stop in Newport Beach through Sunday, uses her own life as a springboard for much of her biting comedy.

A woman can't be whole if her "other half" is somewhere out there in the form of an elusive "Mr. Right." Far too many women are waiting for that man. So forget him, says Laguna Beach psychotherapist Ruth Luban. You can be happy without a husband, she tells lonely, middle-age single women who haven't been able to shake the Prince Charming fantasy with which their generation was raised.

(Re: Single Life column, Jan. 19) Anyone who uses avuncular must be able to read, not misread. So, I'm certain (writer Evan Cummings) deliberately and maliciously misrepresented my primary views and advice regarding: choosing and advocating young women with smarts as well as stressing the importance of being oneself and knowing what one is doing and why one is doing it. Since you must be a together person who isn't "pretending to be...

Dear Skeeter: You are the last person I should be telling this to. But now that the family has been back awhile and life has cranked back up to normal, the truth must come out. All those plaintive phone calls East, when Leni and the kids were with you and I was toiling away here at home at my lonesome word processor, were not the whole truth. In fact they were a very small part of the truth. In fact they had at best a nodding acquaintance with the truth.

Matt Story is a 47-year-old Laguna Hills plumbing contractor who has never been married. "People assume that I'm gay, a momma's boy, socially maladjusted--or all three--just because I enjoy living alone," he says. Story says he leads a normal, active life, enjoys children, pets and women, but prefers to remain unmarried because he likes the autonomy being single gives him. "Luckily, I have finally found a woman who feels as I do.

For years, self-help books have been telling single people how to meet a mate, be a better mate, find a better mate or how to be successful at being single. Books are fine, but we decided to go to the true experts--singles themselves. We asked them to share their methods of adding fun and excitement--and companionship--to their lives. Donna, 40, of Santa Ana, suggests throwing a party. "Invite both single and married friends.

Looking back on the years I was single--between my divorce at the age of 23 and my second marriage at the age of 36--the biggest benefits were my ability to totally focus on my career, advancing my education, traveling whenever and wherever I wanted to, and putting enormous amounts of time and energy into my friendships.

Tom P. Welter, 52, relishes having a fun life, and no wonder. He has spent 30 years of it fixing and playing with toys. "I enjoy it and enjoy life," said the man known around Orange County as "Tommy the Toy Doctor." He even carries a little black bag to his job at Toy City, where he repairs items for the store. Clearly, the young Welter was impressed by a couple of presents he got one Christmas from a rich uncle ("the one with a job," he said jokingly).

Last week, Single Life offered an assortment of opinions on Dutch-treat dating. The second part of this equal-rights issue is: Should women feel at liberty to ask men out? This time around, the answers were much more uniform--"yes," "sure," "certainly," and "why not?" Tammy Carter Guiso most assuredly approves of females taking the initiative in requesting a date. And she didn't stop there; Guiso even proposed marriage to her object of pursuit. Her assertiveness worked.

About this time last year, Bob Nelson placed a singles ad in the classified section of Orange Coast Magazine with a beckoning headline: "Let's Fly to Hawaii or Europe." The Los Alamitos sales representative, then newly divorced, said in an interview with Single Life that he had been feeling lonely and hoped the tactic would link him up with a compatible mate. Guess what? It worked. Single Life caught up with Nelson, 45, for a progress report, and he announced that he recently married a woman he met via the classifieds.