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Stan Kaplan

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SPORTS
June 3, 1995
George Steinbrenner's interest in Messrs. Strawberry and Gooden is indicative of great brilliance. An even higher level of acumen could be attained by the shipping magnate if he invested in the Titanic. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
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SPORTS
December 25, 1999
I often marveled at how close together the eyes were set. Almost cycloptic. And the head. So tiny. Tapering even smaller in the area where the brain usually resides. Disproportional even on a normal body--but set upon this Baby Huey-esque gargantuan physique! I fought the urge to judge by physical appearance alone. It was all too tragic to consider. Surely, it couldn't be. But then, he opened his mouth, and all of my sad suspicions came into crystal-clear focus. Poor John Rocker is, indeed, a functional imbecile.
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SPORTS
November 30, 1996
The Angels just unveiled a new crossed-bats logo. More appropriate would be a plane going into a nose-dive. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
July 3, 1999
Being a Dodger fan used to mean looking forward to the postseason. Now, the Dodger postseason begins around mid-June. Problem is, these Dodgers don't seen to care. JOHN FRASER Aliso Viejo Whenever the last-place Dodgers meet the last-place Angels, it should be called the Subway Series because they're both in a hole and going nowhere fast. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
June 17, 1995
Blustery Al Davis' city yo-yoing is an obvious bargaining ploy. He's just putting up a big Frontiere. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove It used to be Al Davis said, "Just win, baby." Now it's "Just whine, baby." CHUCK HILL Van Nuys Just leave, baby. JOHN D. HARRIS Los Angeles
SPORTS
March 15, 1997
It obviously doesn't take the Angels long to get in shape. Off to a losing record in the spring, it's apparent they are already in midseason form. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
August 23, 1997
Approving an arbitrator's reinstatement of Tony Phillips, a lawyer for the Major League Baseball Players' Assn. characterized the Angels' suspension of Phillips as a "cheap shot." Obviously what is needed is a strong, impartial, commissioner versed in both sides of the issue. How about Steve Howe? STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
November 21, 1998
The Angels, adding to their Bermuda Triangle mystique, have signed a 16-year-old Venezuelan for a $900,000 bonus. Though the kid is heralded as the next Nolan Ryan, the money could be wasted if, during his future Angel career, the GM is the next Buzzie Bavasi. STAN KAPLAN, Garden Grove
SPORTS
September 13, 1997
Ever a loyal but anguished Angel fan, I'm again dismayed by their end-of-season nose dive induced by relievers serving the home run ball. Most respectfully, I submit the following solution: 1) Move the fences waaaaaaay back. 2) Have the outfielders play deep--in Fullerton. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
July 3, 1999
Being a Dodger fan used to mean looking forward to the postseason. Now, the Dodger postseason begins around mid-June. Problem is, these Dodgers don't seen to care. JOHN FRASER Aliso Viejo Whenever the last-place Dodgers meet the last-place Angels, it should be called the Subway Series because they're both in a hole and going nowhere fast. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
November 21, 1998
The Angels, adding to their Bermuda Triangle mystique, have signed a 16-year-old Venezuelan for a $900,000 bonus. Though the kid is heralded as the next Nolan Ryan, the money could be wasted if, during his future Angel career, the GM is the next Buzzie Bavasi. STAN KAPLAN, Garden Grove
SPORTS
September 13, 1997
Ever a loyal but anguished Angel fan, I'm again dismayed by their end-of-season nose dive induced by relievers serving the home run ball. Most respectfully, I submit the following solution: 1) Move the fences waaaaaaay back. 2) Have the outfielders play deep--in Fullerton. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
August 23, 1997
Approving an arbitrator's reinstatement of Tony Phillips, a lawyer for the Major League Baseball Players' Assn. characterized the Angels' suspension of Phillips as a "cheap shot." Obviously what is needed is a strong, impartial, commissioner versed in both sides of the issue. How about Steve Howe? STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
August 2, 1997
I read, with disgust, of Troy Percival's troubles, blowing save after save, then Terry Collins whimpering, "He's tired." From what? Pitching three innings scattered over three outings? His problem is total reliance on a fastball that sails straight and true at 95 mph and leaves the park straighter and truer at 100. He'd better learn to throw other pitches before he learns that a straight line is the shortest distance between Anaheim and Vancouver. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
March 15, 1997
It obviously doesn't take the Angels long to get in shape. Off to a losing record in the spring, it's apparent they are already in midseason form. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
November 30, 1996
The Angels just unveiled a new crossed-bats logo. More appropriate would be a plane going into a nose-dive. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
June 1, 1996
I'm so sick of Albert Belle. He can go straight to, well . . . Straight to Baltimore, perhaps, Where he can have another lapse Of taste and style and couth And threaten yet another youth And prove he totally lacks class. Albert Belle can kiss my foot. ALLEN E. KAHN Playa del Rey Major league baseball can be improved if it: 1--Makes pulled groin muscles illegal. 2--Force-feeds Tom Lasorda Ultra Slim Fast. 3--Compels Albert Belle to play for Marge Schott.
SPORTS
August 2, 1997
I read, with disgust, of Troy Percival's troubles, blowing save after save, then Terry Collins whimpering, "He's tired." From what? Pitching three innings scattered over three outings? His problem is total reliance on a fastball that sails straight and true at 95 mph and leaves the park straighter and truer at 100. He'd better learn to throw other pitches before he learns that a straight line is the shortest distance between Anaheim and Vancouver. STAN KAPLAN Garden Grove
SPORTS
June 1, 1996
I'm so sick of Albert Belle. He can go straight to, well . . . Straight to Baltimore, perhaps, Where he can have another lapse Of taste and style and couth And threaten yet another youth And prove he totally lacks class. Albert Belle can kiss my foot. ALLEN E. KAHN Playa del Rey Major league baseball can be improved if it: 1--Makes pulled groin muscles illegal. 2--Force-feeds Tom Lasorda Ultra Slim Fast. 3--Compels Albert Belle to play for Marge Schott.
SPORTS
May 25, 1996
Let's see now. Michael Jordan wants $36 million for two years. That's $18 million a year. Forty-one home games would mean $439,024.39 per game. If the Bulls average 15,000 per game, each ticket would have to cost $29.29 just to pay Jordan. If the fans are really hungry, the Bulls could still make money on the concessions, and parking revenue could take care of the other players. P.J. GENDELL Beverly Hills An admitted fan of Michael Jordan, I'm still outraged at his demand for a two-year, $36-million contract.
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