Thong

The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. WALTER SPATZ Pacific Palisades

Tissues were on hand, but there were few tears as "All My Children" signed off from ABC Friday after more than 40 years. That's because the screen faded to black with a gunshot and a cliffhanger — an indication that the story may not be dead, even if the television series is. ABC has licensed the soap opera to a production company that is hoping to keep "All My Children" going online after the first of next year. The final ABC broadcast ended with most of the show's characters gathered at the Chandler house in fictional Pine Valley, Pa., for a party — celebrating engagements, a pregnancy and some miracle medical revivals.

I have just finished reading Robert A. Jones' column "Mayor Sonny at War With the Thong," (March 27). It would not surprise me if Jones' nearest brush with the reality of Palm Springs came over the wire of his fax machine, which is where he admits he did his research for this ill-conceived column. He obviously was not looking for any factual evidence of the continuing vitality of the city. It is still the retail sales volume leader of the Coachella Valley in spite of the emergence of new shopping centers and warehouse clubs in other cities.

British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, in his latest incarnation as a gay Austrian fashion reporter, jet skied through a canal into Amsterdam's red light district on Friday to open a brothel full of men in thongs ahead of the Dutch premiere of 'Bruno'. "For too long, guys coming here from around the world have been forced to have sex with women," Cohen said, standing in front of a pink-lit brothel building in the Dutch capital as surprised tourists and stag party goers looked on. "It gives me great pleasure to declare Amsterdam's pink light district officially open for business," he said, as about a dozen men emerged from behind curtains at the windows of a three-storey brothel.

Jason Giambi has been using a tiger-striped, gold-lame thong to help him break out of a hitting slump, as noted by Morning Briefing a week ago. He has also shared it with some of his New York Yankees teammates to help them during various slumps. But Scott Ostler, in Sunday's San Francisco Chronicle, questioned how well the thong is working, considering the Yankees are still hovering around last place in the American League East and Giambi is hitting .230. "Maybe Giambi's thong isn't all it's cracked up to be," Ostler wrote.

British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, in his latest incarnation as a gay Austrian fashion reporter, jet skied through a canal into Amsterdam's red light district on Friday to open a brothel full of men in thongs ahead of the Dutch premiere of 'Bruno'. "For too long, guys coming here from around the world have been forced to have sex with women," Cohen said, standing in front of a pink-lit brothel building in the Dutch capital as surprised tourists and stag party goers looked on. "It gives me great pleasure to declare Amsterdam's pink light district officially open for business," he said, as about a dozen men emerged from behind curtains at the windows of a three-storey brothel.

Tissues were on hand, but there were few tears as "All My Children" signed off from ABC Friday after more than 40 years. That's because the screen faded to black with a gunshot and a cliffhanger — an indication that the story may not be dead, even if the television series is. ABC has licensed the soap opera to a production company that is hoping to keep "All My Children" going online after the first of next year. The final ABC broadcast ended with most of the show's characters gathered at the Chandler house in fictional Pine Valley, Pa., for a party — celebrating engagements, a pregnancy and some miracle medical revivals.

Joe Francis, the founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" empire, is humiliating me. He has my face pressed against the hood of a car, my arms twisted hard behind my back. He's pushing himself against me, shouting: "This is what they did to me in Panama City!" It's after 3 a.m. and we're in a parking lot on the outskirts of Chicago. Electronic music is buzzing from the nightclub across the street, mixing easily with the laughter of the guys who are watching this, this me-pinned-and-helpless thing.

Anyone who has ever walked past an Abercrombie & Fitch store at the local mall knows that it's a place for queen bees and cool jocks. Hot, buff store employees greet customers at the front door. They don't say, "Fatties keep out. " They don't have to. Abercrombie does not stock sizes for the average American young woman, who is roughly 5 feet 4 and weighs about 162 pounds. Abercrombie does not want that person in its clothes. And that is not news. But thanks to the power of social media, the company's obnoxious marketing philosophy is making waves again.

Tracy Anderson Given all the buzz last month around the opening of fitness guru Tracy Anderson's flagship super-studio in Brentwood - a partnership with Gwyneth Paltrow, who is Exhibit A for Anderson's handiwork - it comes as no surprise that the celebrity trainer is extending her lifestyle brand into fashion. Just weeks ago, the Tracy Anderson line debuted with compression-fit capri leggings ($60) in three eye-catching fabrics: red tartan plaid, oversize multi-color polka dot and glittery metallic.

Jason Giambi has been using a tiger-striped, gold-lame thong to help him break out of a hitting slump, as noted by Morning Briefing a week ago. He has also shared it with some of his New York Yankees teammates to help them during various slumps. But Scott Ostler, in Sunday's San Francisco Chronicle, questioned how well the thong is working, considering the Yankees are still hovering around last place in the American League East and Giambi is hitting .230. "Maybe Giambi's thong isn't all it's cracked up to be," Ostler wrote.

IT'S BEEN a good week for the media, and a bad week for parents. The arrest of former schoolteacher John Mark Karr in the slaying of child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey launched a flurry of excited stories about pedophiles, child abduction and murder. The cable news stations could hardly hide their glee, and even the New York Times joined in.

Women around the world have had enough. They're starting to turn their backsides on the thong, the scanty underwear style that has virtually overtaken lingerie departments worldwide. Nationwide chains and department stores have brought in big supplies of hipsters and boy shorts in anticipation of the change. And last week, Mintel, a Chicago-based market research firm, reported sales of thongs in the United Kingdom have fallen 14% since 2003, to represent 23% of the panty market.

Prosecutors in Harrisburg dropped the charges against six men arrested for protesting the Abu Ghraib prison-abuse scandal by stripping down to their thong underwear and forming a human pyramid during a visit by President Bush. Lancaster County Dist. Atty. Donald R. Totaro said prosecutors would not have been able to prove the defendants' actions served "no legitimate purpose" -- a requirement under the state's disorderly conduct law.

A visible panty line should have been the least of my worries when I got dressed that morning and put on thong underwear. If only I'd had the foresight to know what a grave mistake it would prove to be later that day atop a camel in the Thar Desert of India. My afternoon of woe began at the Sam Sand Dunes parking lot, 26 miles outside of Jaisalmer, in Rajasthan. I planned to cap my five-week trip with a sunset camel ride like the ones I'd seen in guidebooks.

Like miniskirts and French manicures, they surge in popularity every few years. And so the squishy, candy-colored shoes that make you feel as if you are walking across a tray of Gummi Bears are back. Although jellies are well known in their most popular incarnation -- the fisherman shape (with a round toe and T-strap that buckles on the side) -- there's a surprising range of styles to choose from this season.

I have traveled to the Palm Springs Life Extension Institute in search of Dr. Edmund Chein. Instead I find Tiffany Caranci. Tiffany is 20 years old and looks exactly how you might expect a 20-year-old named Tiffany to look: platform heels, low-slung skirt, hair streaked blond and black. She's brazenly sexy, and so very young. I am a man and not very young.

If you're in the market for lingerie, you're in good company. The intimate apparel industry as a whole is on the rise, according to Marshal Cohen, chief industry analyst at the NPD Group. "Sales in the women's market started off slow in 2012 but started to gain momentum. All of a sudden, intimate apparel has become a very passionate category," Cohen says. "Women have gone so long without purchasing ... that it's time to update their wardrobes. " But selecting the right underpinnings can be a delicate matter.

The soft spot the typical Joe and Jane College have for their alma mater deepens in the years following graduation. Extending that alumni allegiance into perpetuity is Collegiate Memorials, a company out of Macon, Ga., that sells coffins emblazoned with college logos. Not surprisingly, most interest in these collegiate coffins has come from the powerhouse schools of the South and Midwest, where devotion to sports ranks up there with interest in eating and breathing.

One of the store mannequins wears a fringed denim skirt riding low on the hips and a top pushed high on the midriff. Another has shorts that roll down on the tummy and a one-shoulder top. The music here is loud, throbbing. But it can't drown out the giggles of shoppers. Yes, giggles. Welcome to the abercrombie in Costa Mesa, a store for kids ages 7 to 14. Known as 'tweens in the marketing world, youngsters in this age group are spending like never before, $90 billion a year, by one estimate.