Tommy Lasorda

VERO BEACH, Fla. -- Hall of Fame manager Tom Lasorda returned to the Dodgers' bench Tuesday. But he didn't stay there long, charging off the bench to argue a call by plate umpire Damien Beal in the second inning of a 7-6 Grapefruit League loss to the Florida Marlins. Never mind the fact Beal made the correct call. When the crowd reacted with boos, that was all the invitation Lasorda needed to rush the umpire, gesticulating wildly as the fans went wild.

AT 50 First in a series of first-person accounts of Tom Lasorda's career in baseball. -- As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a major league baseball player. Instead of obeying my parents and doing household chores on weekends, I would sneak out to play baseball with my neighborhood teams.

Near the end of the 1976 season, the Dodgers were nine games out of first place and I was finishing my fourth year as third base coach for Walter Alston. When Alston, who was the skipper for 23 years and a future Hall of Famer, stepped down, everyone was shocked, including myself. The next game was Alston's last. Peter O'Malley, who was then team president, told me that he was going to call me the next morning at 9 o'clock. All night I wondered.

I have seen many great home runs of great importance, but I have never seen anything like Kirk Gibson's home run in the first game of the 1988 Fall Classic. The drama that was attached to that home run was tremendous, and Wednesday was the 20th anniversary of that historic homer. Gibson never came out for the introductions. He never took a swing of batting practice. He was in the trainer's room lying on the rubbing table the entire time.

The mother-in-law died a few days ago, the funeral in Chicago and lots of snow. On the way to the cemetery, the hearse got stuck going up a hill, forcing everyone to retreat toward the funeral home, my first thought with a laugh: Lasorda. When it comes time for the Big Dodger in the Sky to call on him, and I would imagine none of us will still be around to see it, I picture him dragging his feet, stopping that hearse and yelling, "Hey, where you going? I've got one more appearance to make."

\o7I\f7 \o7WANTED\f7 no part of this. When I first heard about it Monday and the plans The Times had to publish a story about a Hollywood madam, her "trick book" and Tom Lasorda, I groaned -- knowing what it might do to the 79-year-old man and his reputation. When Lasorda says he has never used a cuss word in front of his wife, Jo, during their 50 years of marriage, and later she confirms it, well, we're also talking Santa Claus here.

Just another day at the ballpark. That's the way Tom Lasorda played it Wednesday, any humiliation from published descriptions of his alleged sexual behavior with a prostitute hidden under a cloak of Dodger blue. Lasorda tooled around in the golf cart that has his name stenciled across the front, signed autographs and watched an intrasquad game from a seat behind home plate, snoozing through part of it. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

Tommy Lasorda won't be preaching the gospel of Dodgers baseball to a captivated crowd Saturday. He won't dig into his trove of stories to solicit donations for a charity. Won't fly somewhere to get -- or give -- an award. It's a rare day he won't be "One-Take Tommy," the performer who utters incisive sound bites in English or Spanish and knows how long to milk applause during speeches. On Saturday the former Dodgers manager, now special advisor to the chairman, will be 80.

More than 2,000 years before Mike Tyson bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear and was disqualified in the boxing ring, Eupolus of Thessaly, a boxer in the Olympics of 388 BC, bribed three of his opponents to take dives. Historians consider Eupolus' crime the first recorded act of cheating in sports. History also tells of how wide the chasm was between the way Olympic champions and also-rans were treated back in the day.

Well, at least one Dodger is still going in the postseason. The ever-willing, always able Tom Lasorda, the Cy Young of pitchmen and 79-year-old prince of propaganda, has lots of innings left in him before the last out of the 2006 World Series. You've seen the ads. Brilliant. All over TV, on several networks, whenever baseball is played and even during telecasts of other sports. If you know Lasorda, you laugh and buy it. If you don't know Lasorda, you do the same.