Vans

I would like many things. I would like a large four-bedroom ranch home to fall on Jon and Kate. I would like my life to be more like Bollywood. I wish my hair could talk. These things are not going to happen. Indeed, I could spend this column and the next listing all the things I desire but am not going to get: a 1-meter telescope; a poodle with a knowledge of fine wine. Somebody stop me.

Even by the dire standards of the current market, the new VW Routan minivan appears to be nailed to the showroom floor. A warmed-over version of the Chrysler Town & Country/Dodge Caravan, the Routan had chalked up a meager 5,582 sales as of April 20, according to Automotive News, and Routan production at Chrysler's Windsor, Canada, facility is now on indefinite hiatus, in roughly the same way that John DeLorean is taking a sabbatical from breathing.

Chrysler said Monday that it would indefinitely close one Missouri plant and cut production at another because of slumping demand for pickup trucks and minivans. Executives said in a conference call that the automaker would shutter the St. Louis South plant, which makes minivans, effective Oct. 31. The St. Louis North plant, which makes full-size pickups, will be cut from two shifts to one effective Sept. 2. Auburn Hills, Mich.-based Chrysler said the moves would affect 2,400 jobs.

A Prius minivan? It could happen, according to a top executive of Toyota Motor Corp., which makes the four-door hatchback, the world's bestselling gasoline-electric hybrid. There are no specific plans to develop other body styles for the Prius, Tokuichi Uranishi, Toyota's head of global marketing, said in an interview Thursday. But it's "something that is desirable from a marketing point of view," he said. "I think we should have a minivan hybrid in the U.S."

The three drivers moved through traffic toward the U.S. border crossing, their vans packed with about 70 immigrants who stayed hushed as canine units patrolled outside. Mauricio Cantera, a 59-year-old grandfather who sells churros to crossers, said the vans probably passed inches from his tray of sweets Tuesday afternoon, but he didn't notice anything amiss. Having worked the crossing for decades, he said smuggling runs through the San Ysidro Port of Entry are common. What happened next, however, wasn't.

It's official. Those discerning car critics, the black bears of Yosemite, have voted the minivan their most sought-after vehicle. Not to drive, of course, just to break into. Year after year, foraging bears have made minivans their first or second choice among tens of thousands of SUVs, sedans, sports cars and other vehicles in Yosemite National Park. At least that's the conclusion of an article in this month's issue of the Journal of Mammalogy, which details a study of 908 bear-on-vehicle break-ins from 2001 to 2007.

FOR the purposes of this article, I will dispense with my usual sphinx-like air of mystery to tell you something personal. I am a new father. This is an astonishing turn of events, primarily on account of my astonishing age (47). Nonetheless, my two gorgeous daughters are the joy of my life and will be until the day I keel over at a middle-school dance recital. Apropos of current events, I've been reading Alan S.

General Motors Corp. recalled 90,573 of its 2001 and 2002 model vans to fix a faulty switch that prevents brake and hazard lamps from lighting, failing to alert other drivers that a vehicle is slowing or has stopped. The flaw affects 77,055 Chevrolet Astro and GMC Safari vans sold in the U.S., the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said. An additional 13,518 of the vans sold in Canada and other foreign markets are being recalled, GM said. GM shares fell 66 cents to $28.